Dark Clouds & Depression

They engulf me like a thief in the night, the dark clouds of depression.
I stay in this dark place ,almost immobilized, unable to cope or do a thing.
I’m afraid that these thoughts that keep coming to me negative that they are, may lead to insanity. So I sink into my bed trying to put them out of my mind.

I know the beautiful thoughts are there waiting to give me life but I wonder if they will come or is it just a high that may come. I’m afraid but I know this will pass and I will live again

Knock Knock

Knock knock. Open the door. I’m the window of your mind.
Let me in. I’ve come to tell you something.
I’ve listened to the negative thoughts about yourself long enough.

Some people would like those negative thoughts to stay in your mind.
I am other thoughts in the window of your mind.
Don”t let the negative thoughts stay there.
I am other thoughts in the window of your mind.
They say you can achieve. You can be happy. You can move on from negativity.

Come on. Try it. Let me in. knock knock

LookFor The Lifestyle


I love to share my latest ramblings. Maybe they’ll help.

Originally posted on My Blog What kinda Lifestyle:

You’re not too happy in your life.  You want to give up.  It’s humdrum, the same thing day after day.  Maybe you’re just not living the lifestyle you need for happiness.  Look into yourself.  You’re not sure what you want.  Try different things out from sewing to construction work.  There’s a lot of different things in this age and time.  If you want to look for a career or if you stay at home.

You have to look and try to live the lifestyle you want and find it.  It’s there simple or adventurous whatever you are.  Live it.  Reach out.  and once you find things you like to do grab it and savor it.  It’s there.  You just have to look.  Try something you often thought about doing but didn’t.  I am the age where I should be retiring.  I am but I find new things in this life and appreciate…

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Peace is a valuable thing. It can’t be bought and sometimes you have to work at it to have it. If you have it guard it, hoard it and love it. It is one of those things that is priceless. Some people who are wealthy in money and material things don’t have it. They are too busy chasing the dream to enjoy it. They spend their time trying to make more money or they’re afraid of losing what they have. This creates chaos.

Some poor people don’t have it because of many reasons. If you want peace you have to learn to put negative thoughts out of your mind and sometimes even about other people. if others have hurt you and you hold grudges and constantly think about those things it becomes like a festering sore that never heals. Healing comes with putting it out of your mind and moving on.

If you’re around somebody who is negative or a pessimist the best thing you can do is try to get away from that person. They’re just bring you down with their negative thinking or put you down which is the same thing.

Learn to clear your mind of the clutter. Find a quiet place and listen to soft meditating music. I often do this and put myself in another place, maybe a quiet country road or imagine a quiet, happy peaceful life. Soon I become like this. Yes. Free your mind.

Daily Post: Adult Visions

As a kid I had a vision of my adult life. I’d be able to do anything I wanted to. I’d be freer than ever. My marriage would be a fairytale. It would be a husband who adored me and my every wish would be his command.

Of course I’d only work for the first year of our marriage. Then we’d have two children and buy a home.

Was I ever wrong. I forgot that maybe I’d be single and have to provide for myself. I didn’t realize that my parents provided everything for me. After a divorce and one child I had to really face the world and work. Also when I was married. It wasn’t the glamorous office world in the movies but a hard daily grind and worried about a child I had to leave at home with babysitters or a preschool.

I suffered from depression because my life wasn’t a fairytale. Who’s is. My daughter bought me out of this in her teen years. She said Mom you have to come out of the life that’s the little white picket fence, the one man all your life and the children. What a doll. She could see what I couldn’t see. I went on to enjoy my life as a single Mom and then to marry a wonderful man whom I’ve been with for about 26 years.

Organizing & Depression

Is organizing depressing? Of course not. You feel like you’ve accomplished something afterwards and everything looks better.
Organizing can be creating or recreating.

I look around in my room if I get depressed. I stay in my room much of my time and it’s sort of my woman cave. I have moods and my room changes with them’

I find a lot of treasures to put or decorate my room and home with. I love to go looking at the Goodwill Store, thrift shops, The Dollar Tree etc. I find many things for little or nothing. I looked at the Office stores and furniture stores for a desk I wanted to no avail. They seemed to be mostly table tops without the drawer space I was looking for.

My husband and I passed a yard sale and I found just the desk I wanted. It was quite durable too, and small enough to fit in a corner of my room. It also has four drawers in it. Guess what? It only cost me twenty dollars.

I said earlier I have moods and my room changed with them. If I am in a serene mood I may clear all the clutter off my dresser and put a lovely vase with a flower on it. I even bought seashells which I put in a round vase and placed it there.

A fun mood may catch me copying a makeup artist and placing makeup on it, displaying the colorful bottles and lipsticks. Don’t leave things the same if you find yourself depressed. Recreate and change things around and add touches to your home.

Can I Lose Myself?

I see their lifestyles and their values if any. I wonder. I know sometimes these people may pretend to like me just to get me in their web like a spider in a cobweb. I see beyond that. Sometimes I see the ugly stares or even rudeness.

I know that maybe I should compromise. However I decide not to and just to be myself. I like myself and I know that there are others who do too. I don’t want to lose myself or the other people in my life. I try to change and please other people but I come back to myself. I can’t seem to lose myself. I come to the conclusion that I’m not a people pleaser. I once was. I guess I’ve stepped out of the box.

Have I given up too much stepping out of the box? I guess there are some things I have given up and may miss but I’ve found so many other things that I like and value. There are compromises in these things too.
I say I won’t compromise but I do. I compromise when I see that I am wrong or hurting others or myself.
Yes I may compromise but I can’t lose myself.

You see. I have a selfish reason. I don’t want to be in another person’s hell.