So a part of the journey has ended. MY doctor Ive seen for years has retired I went n to see him today. He is a good man and even though i wont be seeing him he is a part of me and My thoughts .
I feel serene and peaceful. There is another side of me that will guide me. I am waiting to meet her when all of me is together. I will keep in touch.
So you like the color of my skin a bit light skin. My hair I wear straight or curly. You say my legs are sexy
You wonder why I am so quiet almost sad. It,s because you don,t see the woman underneath I am afraid to express myself. I didn,t get to where I am now. It is not by my looks but hard work jobs or being a housework.
I refused to become a sex symbol and was harrased. I knew though I wouldn,t be the strong woman I am. A man did tell me that my strength was my beauty. That made me feel great. That is great and makes me fulfilled.
I found myself and I really like me. Hating and jealousy makes me miserble. I say to myself everyday that I am blessed. To some I have a lot and to some a little. I ts a lot to me.
There was a time in life that I had less. I was in a rut but I knew I would have more someday I do now. I can go shoping and do other things. I have a problem though. I can,t seem to walk around my nèighberhood I was met by some dogs one time. I didn,t get or anythng but I have to get enough courage and build up energy and confidence
I don,t know why I have anxiety panic episodes but I know that I will come out of it.
I am in the proçess of organizing or just getting rid of junk. I never thought I would get rid of makeup but here I am sorting and realize some are, old or just to dark or I never use.
After my husband pointed out that the makeup was to dark or dripped under my eyes I decided less is more.
However I also donated or threw away clothes and other things. I still have more work to do. I do this whenever my rooms began to look like a goodwill store. I feel better now and hopefully I won,t shop and replace these thngs that I don,t need.
Good day and here,s to minimum.
I haven,t posted in a while. I could not seem to get it together. However I decided to just write whatever. Please forgive me if I make errors. I decided to take the day off and not to worry about housework or hobbies that I call tools for stress.
I will eventually go out and look in the stores and reward myself with fast food. I do this about once a week. It keeps me from feeling like a recluse that doesn,t know what,s going on in the world. The tv gives me some insight and news.
I have learned not to always bèlieve what I read about the stars. I noticed that these so called beautiful and rich people marriages don,t last long. So I try not to copy them but learn from them.
I think Jada Pinket Smith has a lot of depth to her as well as beàuty and I admire a few others in the news. I admire Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, and Nancy Pelosi. Also Michelle Obama. I am reading her book, Becoming Me
Well I have to close now but must tell you that I càn be fragile but become strong and rise above things.
So the yeaŕ is ending. I look at it as anticipating the new year. I have been practing the tools for health. Theu are exercise, grooming like everyday fixing my hair and makeup and eatting healthy, also lose weight.
I play my keyboard to relieve stress. I must confess I look to the stars and enjoy the fashions and different looks. I am a senior citizen but sometimes inside I feel young. Even so I am no Cardi B or black China I can find something in me that is like them. I keep up with the tomes.
I think politics is crazy even though I look at CNN everyday and the news. I realize that America is divertsified nation. I pray that I don,t hate but understand.
Goodby for now and have a prosperous New Yeaŕ.
I have become negative an depressed sometimes panicky. I think it is awful for a person to cry inside feeling helpless.
I tlold myself not to turn on the news today. Iam nervous listening to it. What has my country become , politicins stabing each other, shootings in school, malls, and driveby shootings. Then bo,mbing places or shooting people because they are worshiping i n a place they choose and are a diferent race.
Can I get some feedback to give me hope.bless you .