Forgive me if you don,t like me. I am try to please another side og me. One ome is so nice and goody goody she,s even boring to me. I am depressed by her and her hate of me.
I finally say to myself I really don,t care about you. You can go to hell you finally leave me. I play my cd,s come out and put aside you I like to shop and dress up. I Wear cute pencil dresses. I like my black one and my red dress and red shoes .
However I put on another outfit that may be plain and a bit frumpy because you came back to tell me don,t go to far because I will be sending the wrong message.
I wish I could go. shopping but the mall is closeď because of the virus. This is on of my favorite things. I live thouģh and happy with myself well sometimes.
The virus we are all going through is devastating to mè. I havestayed in my homè 2 or 3 weeks. I just go to doctor,s appointments. I am going out tomorrow for my annual mammeogram hoping I won,t have breast cancèr again.
I may bè frivolous but I wish I couĺd go on a shopping trip. I would get one of those beautìful bags., also some cosmètics. There is nòthing that makes me feel good than shopping and of course a good medical report.
I,live is what I want to shout to the world! I hàve bouts òf depression but I am not suicidal becaùse I know that other thingß will come my way. I alßò have my beautiful daughter and grandaughter. Alßo a caring husband.
Wish me luck and blessings to you.
So I haven,t been writing. I nearly gave up. I couĺdn,t seem to get it together. HOWever this viŕus is sométhing that affects us all. I am wearing thé mask, wiping everthing with wet and wipes and washing my hands more.I am staying in and haven,t gone out since Monday when I saw my doctor for medicatioñ.
I hope we can come together and help each other. I am stressed I am going back to what I call my tools.
That is reading, playiñg music
My keyboard, exercising if just dancing around the house.
I like reading organizing, books dealing with stress I belong to a group onFacebook that is called depression and anxiety. It helps.
I hope this helps some. May God be with us.
So Ì havent written in awhilè. I don,t think my last posting showed That,s my life. I wonder i I am being myself half the time. I fight hating and getting angry. So what if a lady did not speak or smile to me. Who am I? Somebody who will not smile or speak because I don,t like to be snubbed.
However I know there are frieñdly people in mý world. I get so irritable with my mate. We are together all day and both senior citizens. I can,t get used to this age thing. I let the young woman rule and play my cds. I like rhythm and blues. I also like the show Growing Up Hip Hop. I don,t likè shows that are sex and violence.
I am disgusted with politics and find Donald Trump insulting. I think he may stay in òfficè because a lot of people are not satisfied with this disified nation. Any comments on this are welcomed
So a part of the journey has ended. MY doctor Ive seen for years has retired I went n to see him today. He is a good man and even though i wont be seeing him he is a part of me and My thoughts .
I feel serene and peaceful. There is another side of me that will guide me. I am waiting to meet her when all of me is together. I will keep in touch.
So you like the color of my skin a bit light skin. My hair I wear straight or curly. You say my legs are sexy
You wonder why I am so quiet almost sad. It,s because you don,t see the woman underneath I am afraid to express myself. I didn,t get to where I am now. It is not by my looks but hard work jobs or being a housework.
I refused to become a sex symbol and was harrased. I knew though I wouldn,t be the strong woman I am. A man did tell me that my strength was my beauty. That made me feel great. That is great and makes me fulfilled.
I found myself and I really like me. Hating and jealousy makes me miserble. I say to myself everyday that I am blessed. To some I have a lot and to some a little. I ts a lot to me.
There was a time in life that I had less. I was in a rut but I knew I would have more someday I do now. I can go shoping and do other things. I have a problem though. I can,t seem to walk around my nèighberhood I was met by some dogs one time. I didn,t get or anythng but I have to get enough courage and build up energy and confidence
I don,t know why I have anxiety panic episodes but I know that I will come out of it.
I am in the proçess of organizing or just getting rid of junk. I never thought I would get rid of makeup but here I am sorting and realize some are, old or just to dark or I never use.
After my husband pointed out that the makeup was to dark or dripped under my eyes I decided less is more.
However I also donated or threw away clothes and other things. I still have more work to do. I do this whenever my rooms began to look like a goodwill store. I feel better now and hopefully I won,t shop and replace these thngs that I don,t need.
Good day and here,s to minimum.