I have been throuģh a marriage in the 70,s that has carried over even now.

Did he leave me or did I leave him? The answer is both. I felt lost ànd scared to be alone and worried about how I was going to take care of myself and and my daughter.I knew deep down inside I wanted a divorce. I KNOW that this ma man who stayed out until 3 oclock in the morning in bars and other plaçes just wasn,t right for me. When he took me out he waß flirting and talking to other women .

I finally got myself together and became a preschool teacher and got an Aa degree a person I did not know. I also finished an Aa degree and got a degree in office work.

so he gave me my freedom and I wanted it. So both of ùs ĺeft.

So I finally got the vaccine. Why are some of us dying. It,s not any odies fault. So I turn to God and spiritual answers? If we escape this and it ever ends. We can think He is giving us another chance on life,

now I havè thought òf thinking of everything I miss because of restrictions ď restrictions due to the virus. Manicures, facials and places that are closed. However there may be new things that I may discover. Gratitude is one and I thank God

Forgive me if you don,t like me.  I am try to please another side og me.  One ome is so nice and goody goody she,s even boring to me.  I am depressed by her and her hate of me.

I finally say to myself I really don,t care about you.  You can go to hell  you finally leave me.  I play my cd,s come out and put aside you I like to shop and dress up. I Wear cute pencil dresses.  I like my black one and my red dress and red shoes .

However I put on another outfit that may be plain and a bit frumpy because you came back to tell me don,t go to far because I will be sending the wrong message.

I wish I could go.  shopping but the mall is closeď because of the virus.  This is on of my favorite things.  I live thouģh and happy with myself  well sometimes.

The virus we are all going through is devastating to mè.  I havestayed in my homè 2 or 3 weeks.  I just go to doctor,s appointments.  I am going out tomorrow for my annual mammeogram hoping I won,t have breast cancèr again.

I may bè frivolous but I wish I couĺd go on a shopping trip.  I would get one of those beautìful bags., also some cosmètics.  There is nòthing that makes me feel good than shopping and of course a good medical report.

I,live is what I want to shout to the world! I hàve bouts òf depression but I am not suicidal becaùse I know that other thingß will come my way.  I alßò have my beautiful daughter and grandaughter.  Alßo a caring husband.

Wish me luck and blessings to you.

I can learn from this.

So I haven,t been writing. I nearly gave up. I couĺdn,t seem to get it together. HOWever this viŕus is sométhing that affects us all. I am wearing thé mask, wiping everthing with wet and wipes and washing my hands more.I am staying in and haven,t gone out since Monday when I saw my doctor for medicatioñ.

I hope we can come together and help each other. I am stressed I am going back to what I call my tools.
That is reading, playiñg music
My keyboard, exercising if just dancing around the house.
I like reading organizing, books dealing with stress I belong to a group onFacebook that is called depression and anxiety. It helps.

I hope this helps some. May God be with us.

So Ì havent written in awhilè.  I don,t think my last posting showed  That,s my life.  I wonder i I am being myself half the time.  I fight hating and getting angry.  So what if a lady did not speak or smile to me. Who am I? Somebody who will not smile or speak because I don,t like to be snubbed.

However I know there are frieñdly people in mý world.  I get so irritable with my mate. We are together all day and both senior citizens.  I can,t get used to this age thing.  I let the young woman rule and play my cds.  I like rhythm and blues.  I also like the show Growing Up Hip Hop. I don,t likè shows that are sex and violence.

I am disgusted with politics and find Donald Trump insulting.  I think he may stay in òfficè because a lot of people are not satisfied with this disified nation.  Any comments on this are welcomed

bba.

So a part of the journey has ended.  MY doctor Ive seen for years has retired I went n to see him today.  He is a good man and even though  i wont be seeing him he is a part of me and My thoughts .

I feel serene and peaceful.  There is another side of me that will guide me.  I am waiting to meet her when all of me is together.  I will keep in touch.

So you like the color of my skin a bit light skin. My hair I wear straight or curly. You say my legs are sexy

You wonder why I am so quiet almost sad.  It,s because you don,t see the woman underneath  I am afraid to express myself. I didn,t get to where I am now.  It is not by my looks but hard work jobs or being a housework.

I refused to become a sex symbol and was harrased.  I knew though I wouldn,t be the strong woman I am.  A man did tell me that my strength was my beauty. That made me feel great.  That is great and makes me fulfilled.