She feels pretty good about herself. She has been told how good and young she looks for her age .She decided it’s best for her and others not to think about that age or number. It’s just putting yourself into a box.
You say age appropriate but I don’t know what that means. I wear what looks good on me and I do what makes me feel good. I confess I do use more concealer though when I dress. lol
I practice rituals now. I try to eat foods that prevent cancer and other health issues like diabetes and high blood pressure. I awake and try to put the house and especially my room in order and I do drink coffee and little coke or pepsi. I only allow me a fourth of a glass of the sugary drink I stopped eating the candy and stopped buying the cookies because my blood sugar will go up. I try to get some exercise everyday and of course I stopped the cigarettes and don’t smoke after years of it.
For the ladies I put a little moisturizer on my face after shower and put a little makeup on . Yes it’s a lifestyle change that I work for everyday. I think a lot of people are doing it. We know more about health issues. Years ago we didn’t have all these health tips and information.
Why didn’t I see you, your kindness, loyalty, and respect. You were there to comfort me when I was hurt, when I felt that I couldn’t be enough for them. Still I was always with a bad boy for the thrills and excitement or is it just that I had to feel needed and that they needed me.
Finally I realized that I couldn’t help them because they would have to become like me and didn’t want to change. For some reason I was scared to become them. So I turned to you but this time I got thrills with love. I asked you how did you change and you said that you were always there I just didn’t look hard enough to see.
So I got the two in one, the good boy and the bad boy. I took a pledge in marriage to you and I’ll be with the two the rest of my life. Thank you for waiting and being there.
I call to you and I see you. Something says run from you. I am afraid of myself. I may grow to love you. You are so unlike me, Yet I see a lot of myself in you.
I have been kept away from you sheltered from one who may be wrong for me but I know I am happy with you. I am just afraid of a part of me, afraid to live your life. It calls to me though and I am afraid to see or live your life which may be more exciting. Am I to stay in my comfort zone which I am unhappy in. No I don’t think so. I’ll take a chance on life and start to live.
I have been raised to stay with your own kind. What is that? People who have my values and life. I see that in you amidst the excitement of you. No I am ready to come out and be with you and live. I’ll cross over to your life and live yours. I will be fulfilled.
Empower me by giving me love and respect. If you open the door for me I will thank you and think of you as a gentleman; I am still an old-fashioned girl.
You don’t have to shower me with expensive gifts. Your love, warmth, and understanding mean more. Show me new things and I am opened to them on this adventure. Walk hand and hand with me. You walking with me as I go through may be climbing the highest mountain.
Support me in all that I do. Let me know that I may come to you when I am hurt and all is not well with me. Sometimes a kind word and a ear to listen to me helps more. I am asking you to be there for me in this journey. In return I will give you all my love.
If I’m a little unique and a little different I like it but the cold world doesn’t. I Call this the dark side of me, more serious and sensual. Yes there’s another side to me that I am afraid to show. It aches to be let out.,
This may be the dark side of me with the same attributes that I have. It’s not a moral thing. Maybe the cold world doesn’t like her because she’s more sure of herself and confident. Some people may be intimidated by this.
Some day she’ll come out and realize that there are people who accept and like her. I hope I never kill her.
I purge my clothes donating and discarding those that I no longer use
I purge my home decluttering and getting rid of all the things I no longer need. I even purge my body cleansing it of topics.
All this is well and good but I can’t purge my heart. You are still there even though I know you are not good for me .
I can’t purge my heart of you and at the same time I am afraid to let others in,
They engulf me like a thief in the night, the dark clouds of depression.
I stay in this dark place ,almost immobilized, unable to cope or do a thing.
I’m afraid that these thoughts that keep coming to me negative that they are, may lead to insanity. So I sink into my bed trying to put them out of my mind.
I know the beautiful thoughts are there waiting to give me life but I wonder if they will come or is it just a high that may come. I’m afraid but I know this will pass and I will live again